About 6 months after Logan died I met another loss mama a couple years further in her journey. She told me to keep looking for God in the details. She told me you probably can’t see it now, but there will come a time when you’ll see where God is in the details again.
When she talked of her story it was still missing her son, but seeing the people and events placed in her path afterwards that showed her God hadn’t forgotten her.
I think I’m only now really understanding that with the perspective of a few years. I see trips, jobs, friendships that we’re put in my path of support. New experiences showing me that God hadn’t forgotten me.
A few weeks ago I came across a Facebook moms group post asking for breast milk donations for her soon to be newborn. She was a breast cancer survivor and would be unable to breastfeed, but wanted give her baby breast milk.
I already had quite a stockpile I was planning to donate so I thought this was perfect how it fell into my lap. I of course checked to her profile to see if we happened to have any friends in common and realized I already knew I was going to be donating to her baby.
Our mutual friend was a mom I’d met in a loss group. Our mutual friend had already talked about their friendship and her support. After we met for the first donation she lovingly sent me a thank you note and mentioned Logan’s Angels. At first I thought she’d been reading our story and then she told me that Logan is going to be her sons name too!
I know God has been in the details of our friendships and connections to bring this together. It’s a pretty great story and more that I could go on telling, but I’m not spoiling all of it! KMBC9 got wind of all the milk donations and are running a story on both of us. I’ll post the link after it airs 10/30 at 6pm!
The power of scent for memory recall has continued to amaze me. I have learned so much more from this and am taking steps to no longer sit aside as uneducated to what I am placing on and in my body. I am doing more of my own research and finding more sources. I know I am not alone, I am the 1 in 4 (miscarriage) and 1 in 160 (stillbirth) who have known infant loss.
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This week I stepped out into the great unknown. I finally found my Why in teaching oils and why I could no longer keep from teaching about what I’ve learned and benefited from these oils!
I started using lavender oil a few years ago when my first was born and someone told me it could help her sleep. At that point so sleep deprived I said YES! Only problem was someone told me about this, but no other follow up about how to use it or differences in oils or what a diffuser was! I eventually gave up and thought I don’t have time for research I can adjust to the no sleep and gave up on it until my 2nd pregnancy. I had done some more research on my own and knew what a diffuser was and really liked how Tea Tree smelled in my shampoo and made our stinky bathrooms smell so much better!
We actually brought our diffuser to the hospital and I was so grateful that I could make our room smell more like our home as we held Logan with us. Everyone who entered said I wish all hospital rooms smelled like this! This is way better than the stale air that is associated with hospitals. All I knew was that the smell was something I was familiar with and has brought me back to peace with Logan’s memory. I have loved lavender so much that I even placed some at Logan’s grave so he can still smell mommy when I’m not there.
Eventually after coming out of some of the haze and talking to so many other mothers of loss I now realize how common stillbirth can be. In the U.S. it’s approximately 24,000 which is an average of 1 in 160 births. Recognized miscarriage losses are even more common 1 in 4 pregnancies. With Logan we know it was a cord issue that was the ultimate cause of his death. Do I think making a lifestyle change such as reading more into chemicals in our household could’ve prevented his loss? No! But if there is a chance that I could’ve made healthier decisions for myself and my children would I change it? Yes!
I found out through some more research that some chemicals I have been using in my home could be linked to infertility. To me this was a total game changer. I went through my house with my Think Dirty AP and put in products throughout my house. Anything remotely associated with infertility I decided needed to be changed. The problem was what do I change it with?
I did my own research into companies and guidelines in what chemicals and products that I could use to replace those associated with the funk I was trying to rid my house of. A friend had told me that she felt the same way about the stuff in her household and had been using the Young Living line of products for cleaning and diffusing around her house. I looked through their catalog and how they made their products. I was so amazed. They don’t use pesticides, they harvest by hand and have a promise of how the products are made from the Seed to the Seal they are ensuring their safety.
This week I was able to lead my first of hopefully many classes in teaching about making yourself educated as to what is in your home. I am so excited for this education journey and can’t wait to see what more I learn from others as I grow on this journey. If you have any interest in learning more or setting up a time to talk please comment below and I would love to get in touch!
If you would like more information about enrolling see my earlier post Why Essential Oils