I love going back to look at this photo! It is something I tell myself almost everyday! You can do hard things, you can do amazing things! . I want my kids to know that they are so capable of big dreams. More than what their career and jobs will look like one day in […]
Just your Monday PSA, that no one has it all figured out. That awesome blogger who has her kids hair combed and smiling at the camera with a fresh “homemade dinner” probably has a pile of dishes next to the camera and a million out with kids having meltdowns! . That mom who is managing […]
It’s hard to see you as 3 and doing so much yourself. Last night I held your bear and it felt so light compared to how big your baby sister has grown. Logan you continue to make me so proud to be your mama.
This week has been a blur of doing a million summer memories, spending time together and also a time where we know our hearts are starting to feel heavier. There’s a 3 year old we aren’t going to be throwing your “traditional” birthday party for. Mostly because there’s no 3 year old boy to blow […]
I remember staring at the wall of the shower as the water poured over me. Arguing with God that I had already given him my son. Why did he take my Hope too? ⠀⠀ Why was I suffering and losing another child? I talk so much about Logan, but 2 years ago I walked into […]
5 years ago, I have a vivid memory of wiping my oldest high chair down with Lysol and then putting her puffs on there for her to eat. ⠀⠀ The Lysol was still wet and the puffs were wet before even getting inside her mouth 🤢 and I thought I was being healthy for her! […]
Is #transformationtuesday still a thing people do? I guess I see lots of posts of people at the gym and their physical body progress when they use this hashtag! Here’s mine… ⠀⠀ I have transformed from a shy girl who once had posters of Hanson and N’Sync lining her bedroom walls. A girl who didn’t […]
What a strange day this is. I think it’s usually full of expectations that rarely are all fulfilled. A day that’s hard for women waiting to be moms, wanting all her kids in a picture, babies that weren’t big enough to hold. If you are missing your child, longing for one wanting this day to […]
Looking at them makes me want to celebrate and smile. So many times I felt like I see other families that have a child and have a new pregnancy and they either totally disappear from social media or they only talk about the new baby. ⠀⠀ Allison is struggling with not being the only kid […]
Have you ever cried so much that you ran out of tears? ? Your swollen eyes just give out and dry up while a current of unrest still gushes through your soul. And you look up toward heaven in utter frustration. That was us!
My soul was crying and pleading with God to take this away from me. Make this not my sons story. As much as I pleaded I couldn’t change what was happening.
It is finished. I feel just exhausted from all of the heart work this took getting put onto paper. It’s taken me 929 days to write this and put the full story from my perspective down. It’s raw and I could keep editing it for years more I’m sure.
About 6 months after Logan died I met another loss mama a couple years further in her journey. She told me to keep looking for God in the details. She told me you probably can’t see it now, but there will come a time when you’ll see where God is in the details again. When […]
Over the last 2 years I’ve known October as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. This year the milestone of this month came in like a quiet lamb and was fitting for the sunrise today. The benefit of having kids who decide to both wake up early is that you get to open the blinds […]
Not every rainbow is an ending of something. Sometimes it’s just the beginning.
If you’re a part of the infant and pregnancy loss community you probably already know the term Rainbow Baby. A rainbow is a baby born after the storms of grief from miscarriage, still birth or death in infancy. It’s supposed to give us hope of new coming. It’s hard for me to explain how a […]
2 years in heaven is as if it was a lifetime ago and yesterday at the same time. We will be remembering you and trying to celebrate you the best we can as the waves come and surround us today.
If you are on Instagram and want to remember his story search for #Instabirth0726 and see his birth and life story and help us remember his short time here.
With this pregnancy I am all too aware that I have no guarantee this will turn out any differently than our last two. Knowing that I am absolutely not in control over any part of each day of this pregnancy. Being all too aware of this lack of control gives me moments of anxiety, joy, excitement, confusion and grief. It’s so hard to explain to someone who hasn’t gone through a pregnancy loss and understood these emotions. It’s really reassuring to have a loss community of friends who remind me I’m not actually crazy, I’m just pregnant and grieving and they have to co-exist.