I’m not really sure where I am right now. I’ve had a strange rush of Facebook memories that have been reminding me of what trajectory my life was once headed. I see pictures of my daughter a year ago and remember how excited she was to give her baby brother hugs inside my womb. I […]
Today baby boy I thank you for allowing me the opportunity to share your story with a total stranger today. I always dread as the calendar gets closer to the 26th. Just another reminder that time has moved on without you here. My husband can testify I’m usually an emotional mess on the 25th of […]
This has been one of the hardest weeks of my life. This most recent loss is not how I thought I would be introducing our third child to the internet world. We thank everyone who has supported us so much this week. I know many ask what they can do to help. Really I have no answer. In a state of shock I’m still trying to put my own oxygen mask on before helping others. Once I get some more oxygen I’ll let you know.
I wanted to update everyone on some exciting updates with my writing. I have been accepted as a guest post blogger on still standing magazine. If anyone is looking for great resources on child loss and grief this is such a great resource and so many topics. I am so excited in this new writing […]
Some times the constant reminder you may have a trigger day coming is worse than the actual day. Some days it’s all around when you least expect it!
I love when there happens to be an inexplicable sign from somewhere that there’s beauty we’re not even seeing. I often feel living in the Midwest prairie that I forget that even if I’m not looking at a mountain or ocean it is all a part of God’s Earth. Through the years I have gotten […]
There’s maybe more meaning to the saying ‘an elephant never forgets’ than you thought you knew. These animals are gentle giants walking this Earth who have so much teach us.
I don’t really have much to say about today other than I’m trying to make a more purposeful time for myself and what I am fulfilled by. I’m looking forward to this time where everything goes through a rebirth. It’s a time for new beginnings and starts. I am making sure that my calendar and […]
I cannot say enough how inspiring Sheryl Sandberg is personally and professionally as a woman teaching other women to Lean In. In May 2015 Dave Goldberg, then CEO of tech company SurveyMonkey, husband of top Facebook executive Sheryl Sandberg and father of their two children, passed away unexpectedly while on vacation in Mexico. The way […]
Some days it’s just easier to start a day with a song. It’s good to remember that life is wondrous and beautiful. I think it reminds you that following your heart will get you to a new place of Love. That we never imagined we’d end up here, but we followed our hearts and has led […]
Some days it’s just the littlest piter patter of these feet that I miss.
PSA of what you should never ask of a woman!
So many people who have contacted me since I started writing with their own stories. These are stories of old wounds, vulnerability and reopened scars and the memories that haunt us at night. They usually start with a disclaimer “it doesn’t compare to what has happened to you” or “I wasn’t as far as you […]
If we haven’t already met, hi I’m Sara! I’m writing this blog for my son Logan. His time in this world was a brief 14 1/2 hours, but so much love was shared during his short time here. I write to families who have experienced grief, and to those who support them on their journeys. I […]
With both my pregnancies I signed up for the baby tracking apps. The ones which tell you your baby is now the size of a blueberry, raspberry, cauliflower and whichever random closeish sized fruit or vegetable is comparable. I loved getting the weekly updates and thinking how amazing it was that life was changing so dramatically within […]
This guilt is a different monster. It is filled with questions like “If Only…”
“You failed to keep your baby alive”
“I had one job.”
“Why did I survive?”
“You failed your child.”
It was a place between asleep and awake that reminds me of Peter Pan. A place where he’s waiting and will be with me.
Since this I can go to sleep with the hope that someone else will visit me and tell me about whose caring for Logan and hear that he’s ok.
Until this wave I had forgotten how grief can physically hurt! How your arms long for something that you can no longer hold! Grief can tear you up until you are raw!
#infantloss #lifeafterloss #oneinfour #writingisthereapy
I’ve learned that there will not be a time that I won’t be remembering or grieving, but it won’t always be a tsunami. Grief comes in waves and sometimes you swim around it and sometimes you go under, but I have learned that through God I will always be able to come up.
The only advice I remember really grasping onto is to talk to yourself as if you were your best friend. Be kind to yourself. That some days one breath at a time is good enough.
If you haven’t seen the movie ‘We Bought a Zoo’ the 2011 film with Matt Damon I’ll give you a short run down. Damon’s wife passes away and looking for a fresh start he buys a dilapidated zoo and works to reopen it with some quirky staff members. There’s this scene shortly after his wife […]