Yes it’s totally hipster to talk about friends as a tribe, but you know friendship doesn’t explain how much some of us have been through together. When you can find someone who knows your story your triggers it’s so nice to not explain it again. I think that’s part of the reason it’s harder to make friends as an adult. We’ve got more of a story and usually more mess that we’re self conscious if they will accept us for the mess that’s us!
I know this past year would not have been the same without having my friends who know the loss of a child. Who can get when you text “I just am crying in the parking lot of Target because I walked by the baby clothes and just lost it!”
I think everyone knows it’s sad to lose a child. After you lose a child it becomes clear that: time does not heal all wounds. Time allowed me to go from crying each day all day to having some days I get without tears. I still have constant thoughts like; There should be 2 in my backseat. It doesn’t mean I’m at peace or forgotten him because I now cry less. My tribe who knows loss can understand. Some days are fine, some are like it’s happening all over again.
Grief doesn’t go away. It becomes a piece of you. It can rock your whole being and sense of who you are. I remember hearing afterwards someone saw me and said “oh, just the same old Sara!” I thought, how in the world could I be seen as the same? It’s those members of my tribe who understand that I want to talk about him! I want to hear them say his name. I want to know when he comes to visit and sends them a rainbow or dragonfly!
Those inner friends who have seen you at your most broken and not run away or told you to get over it, because your grief was an inconvenience to them. Thank you for my amazing tribe of mama Elephants who’ve got my back! We are the protectors of those most vulnerable! We are warrior women!